Terrible Mother

I love my children. I do, I really, really, really do.

I feel that I have been a terrible mother lately.

When I was pregnant with Mini #1, I made a pregnancy scrapbook documenting all of my doctor's appointments, ultrasound pictures, shower pictures, gifts, etc. It was all documented and ready to go before I went in to labor and then I added the days in the hospital when I had him. You know the whole, baby hat they first put on him, the name tags from his hospital cradle, all the little things that documented his introduction to the world.

Then, I think he had 6 photo albums/scrapbooks before he was three months old. All adorned with the cute little borders, tearful little sayings about sweet babies and bubbly baby boys. I only had one child, my husband worked out of the country, and I used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning making sure that everything was perfect.

He also has hours of video of him staring at the camera completely bored with the camera in his face, looking like an infant angel while sleeping, me sounding like a complete idiot making noises to try to get him to smile, his first steps, baths, tooth, tantrum, etc. I do have many more pictures than actual video footage. Mr. Molly Lou isn't much for taking pictures or video and he was gone a lot, so that leaves me alone and the camera is what I always grab first.

Fast forward three years and add Mini #2 who is so freaking adorable I just want to eat her. While I have all of her little ultrasound pictures, baby pink papers and vellum to create that fantastic pregnancy scrapbook documenting all of the doctor's appointments, first kicks, cravings, etc. I haven't made it.

I have 4354364 pictures of her nine months on this Earth and I have all of those books ready to be filled with amazingly creative photo pages.

I took a video yesterday afternoon of Mini #2 looking precious in her church dress and little pearl bracelet with a silver cross. She was smiling, cooing, babbling, trying to walk, crawling, and making cute faces for the camera. It was great, then I went to rewind the tape and realized that I haven't taken a video of her since Christmas.

That's right, Christmas...7 freaking months ago.

About all of those ultrasound pictures, photographs, paper, vellum, stickers, books, quotes, hospital stuff...While I HAVE THEM, I haven't done anything with them. They take up two drawers in a craft shelf that I have.

I HAVE NOT CREATED ONE BOOK FOR MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER OR TAKEN A VIDEO OF HER ADORABLENESS IN 7 MONTHS. I SHOULD BE TURNED IN TO THE AUTHORITIES.

In my defense, I haven't done anything with Mini #1's photographs in over a year. Again, I have them, just in a drawer. I also haven't taken a video of him in 7 months either.

We have also moved three times since this little DISASTER first occurred. It started as a little snowball and has quickly turned in to a massive avalanche with no known survivors. And I am trying to grow a business, keep a clean house, do my side job, play/read/laugh with my children occassionally, feed them, blog with my friends, and sleep occassionally.

Who am I kidding??? No excuse is really good enough.

My children are going to be in therapy in 20 years and will roll in to the fetal position and start crying whenever someone mentions baby book. God forbid anyone to actually bring out a baby book to show off their life as a toddler.

I'll just hand my children the box where their pictures will still remain and then hand them a BIG check for their therapist.