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Monday, July 13, 2009

Terrible Mother

I love my children. I do, I really, really, really do.

I feel that I have been a terrible mother lately.

When I was pregnant with Mini #1, I made a pregnancy scrapbook documenting all of my doctor's appointments, ultrasound pictures, shower pictures, gifts, etc. It was all documented and ready to go before I went in to labor and then I added the days in the hospital when I had him. You know the whole, baby hat they first put on him, the name tags from his hospital cradle, all the little things that documented his introduction to the world.

Then, I think he had 6 photo albums/scrapbooks before he was three months old. All adorned with the cute little borders, tearful little sayings about sweet babies and bubbly baby boys. I only had one child, my husband worked out of the country, and I used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning making sure that everything was perfect.

He also has hours of video of him staring at the camera completely bored with the camera in his face, looking like an infant angel while sleeping, me sounding like a complete idiot making noises to try to get him to smile, his first steps, baths, tooth, tantrum, etc. I do have many more pictures than actual video footage. Mr. Molly Lou isn't much for taking pictures or video and he was gone a lot, so that leaves me alone and the camera is what I always grab first.

Fast forward three years and add Mini #2 who is so freaking adorable I just want to eat her. While I have all of her little ultrasound pictures, baby pink papers and vellum to create that fantastic pregnancy scrapbook documenting all of the doctor's appointments, first kicks, cravings, etc. I haven't made it.

I have 4354364 pictures of her nine months on this Earth and I have all of those books ready to be filled with amazingly creative photo pages.

I took a video yesterday afternoon of Mini #2 looking precious in her church dress and little pearl bracelet with a silver cross. She was smiling, cooing, babbling, trying to walk, crawling, and making cute faces for the camera. It was great, then I went to rewind the tape and realized that I haven't taken a video of her since Christmas.

That's right, Christmas...7 freaking months ago.

About all of those ultrasound pictures, photographs, paper, vellum, stickers, books, quotes, hospital stuff...While I HAVE THEM, I haven't done anything with them. They take up two drawers in a craft shelf that I have.


In my defense, I haven't done anything with Mini #1's photographs in over a year. Again, I have them, just in a drawer. I also haven't taken a video of him in 7 months either.

We have also moved three times since this little DISASTER first occurred. It started as a little snowball and has quickly turned in to a massive avalanche with no known survivors. And I am trying to grow a business, keep a clean house, do my side job, play/read/laugh with my children occassionally, feed them, blog with my friends, and sleep occassionally.

Who am I kidding??? No excuse is really good enough.

My children are going to be in therapy in 20 years and will roll in to the fetal position and start crying whenever someone mentions baby book. God forbid anyone to actually bring out a baby book to show off their life as a toddler.

I'll just hand my children the box where their pictures will still remain and then hand them a BIG check for their therapist.


  1. PLEASE. It's not like you're BUSY or anything, being a mom and having a business, right??? I think...give yourself a break! You will have plenty of time to make all of those books when the kids are 18 and out of the house! :) Til then, just keep them organized by year! Haha!

    -from a person who has never made a scrapbook in her life

  2. Oh I think we all go through this! When you have your own business, there is such a fine line between good guilt & bad guilt. It's like the 'good guilt' is what helps you make sure you spend plenty of time with your children when they need you, but it's so easy to let that turn into the 'bad guilt' where you just feel like you're a horrible mother. :(
    For me, Bitsy #1 has scrapbooks, but Bitsy #2 gets blogged about! lol I think I'll be printing my blog...

  3. Don't be so hard on yourself! When you get a couple extra hours in the day you can work on the scrap book -- she won't appreciate them until she is older anyways. Your love and time you spend with them is worth WAY!!!!! more!

  4. you are not a horrible mother!! haha. It always happens to number 2! Just a fact :) One of my friend's sisters had to find a baby picture to bring into school {she is number 4} and they couldn't find one! She had to bring in a picture of her sister as a baby. Could have been worse :P

  5. Don't feel bad about this!!! This is just the 2000's version of my situation from 22 years ago when my mom took approximately 3 pictures of me as a child-- and about 26 years ago when she took about 300 pictures of my older sister!

    They will not need therapy. More likely they'll just be happy that you don't pull out a scrapbook with naked-in-the-tub pictures one day when they have a date!

  6. From what I hear this is TOTALLY normal!!

  7. If you're a terrible mother...than I must be worse than you. I have just completed Little Crab's 1st year scrapbook, but didn't do one while I was pregnant.

    I wish I could say I enjoy scrapbooking, but the cutting and embellishments drives me crazy. I've decided to do his next books online w/ shutterfly or snapfish. I've already started it and have it saved so I can add to it.

  8. Thanks for visiting my blog! Love yours! At least you did the scrapbooking for one kid. My mom made me a scrapbook when my L was born. All I needed to do was put the pictures in...he's two and it's still not done!!!

  9. Give. Me. A. Break!! This is the way that it ALWAYS goes. Thankfully, I was the first child so I am not traumatized! However, I think my sister is fairly well adjusted as well! I wouldn't sweat it too much!! Or send the mini's to Grandma's and work on it for a day! :) And then make your husband take you to a nice dinner!

  10. You would think you learned your lesson after hearing me complain for my ENTIRE life about never having a baby book! Mini #2 and I will wollow in our misery together! :)

  11. Oh, do not feel bad! I can't get my wedding album done! And seriously, I need to get cracking, because I do not want to add baby photos on top of it, because I foresee a very slippery slope!

    If we could get it all done, wouldn't it rock like a concert? (Feel free to use the phrase as much as possible, btw:)

  12. Okay, that is so the norm it's not even funny!! It happens to many, many GREAT mothers!!! If and when you get to it...don't worry about it. I did the same thing with my daughter and sons! Only my daughter was first so she has all of the scrapbooks and photo albums and my sons pictures are still on rolls of film and downloaded on my computer just waiting for me! :D WE ARE happens! Have a great week!

  13. There is no photo or video evidence that I was ever the ages 6-8. Literally only one school photo.

    I turned out only SLIGHTLY disfunctional.

  14. I think that's the norm - my brothers don't mind that they have less pictures in albums, but my baby brother used to get really upset with my mom that she had more individually framed pictures of our family friends' kids around the house. To make up for this my mom hung a huge 18x11 on the refrigerator of just my brother :)

  15. My mom has a SHIRT that says that very first line of your post. When I was little I didn't udnerstand it. Now I do. HA!

  16. It will be okay. Toddlers are hard and keep you quite busy. There will come a day when you have the extra time. They will not "need" you as much and will be running and playing with the neighborhood kids outside. I have three and I just had to give myself a break and stop feeling so guilty. It does NO good...for you or the kids. They will appreciate your time more than pictures or videos anyway.


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