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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Highest Bidder Please

Ok, so like I said on Monday, I love my children. I do, I do, I really, really do!

Yesterday, however, was a true test of love and I had thoughts of posting them on Craig's List. I mean seriously if someone would have come along and offered me ANYTHING for the children, I might have accepted. I mean didn't Debbie Rowe just take $4 million for hers? Mine are WAY CUTER, so I wonder what I could get.

ONLY KIDDING. Perhaps not funny, but after you hear about my day yesterday you will not be so horrified.

(Before you read on, I would NEVER sell my children. I may rent them for a few hours, but they are too stinking cute and loveable to actually sell. Besides, Mr. Molly Lou always talks about how much we have invested in them already and wonders if they offer a trade-in program like with cars...interesting idea.)

Ok, so Mini #1 loves to play in the bathroom. The child has $6789987 worth of toys, but the sink is heaven to him. He has flooded the bathroom before with his overzealous sink play and has been told more than I can count not to do it. We had breakfast and then he went up for his morning potty break while Mini #2 and I finished up breakfast and I began to clean up. I went to check on him and there was the flood of 2009. He knew he was in trouble just by looking at me. (I used to be a teacher, so I have the best "look of death.") I got the mess all cleaned up and then went downstairs to finish cleaning up.

I am sweeping the wood floor and am in the kitchen when I feel a drop of water on me. I look down and there are several drops on the wood. Laws of gravity would lead me to look up and that's when I saw it...a leak in the ceiling. Convenient that this same leak is right below the bathroom. RIGHT (starting not to judge me so much aren't you.) So the flood, let to water leaking above my kitchen sink. I call Mr. Molly Lou and he tells me to hammer a small nail in the ceiling to allow the water to flow from that hole rather than just sit there and possible crash down on me and the children since there is no way to know exactly how much was there. I do as told and the water does start to drip from the hole. We fill a bowl and then it stopped.

Fast forward about 20 minutes from this fiasco and I am mopping the kitchen floor and cleaning up the rest of the mess from the leak. I hear a boom, crash in the living room and then Mini #2 crying. I walk in to find that she has worked her way across the room and attempted to pull her self up on to an iron plant stand and large plant. She felt that was the perfect place to stand at that moment. THE CHILD WAS COVERED IN DIRT. I mean covered, the stand has fallen over, and the plant is traumatized on the floor while the pot has broken in to 123 pieces. She isn't hurt and as soon as I pick her up, she is fine. She could care less about the dirt...this child loves to be dirty.

Clean up another mess and then get Mini #2 down for a nap.

The doorbell rings about 5 minutes later and who decided to drop by, but the pastor of the new church that we went to on Sunday. PERFECT TIMING. All I have to say is Thank God I had a bra on and he didn't come 5 minutes earlier to see my child covered in dirt and Mini #1 only his underwear and still crying over the punishment from the first fiasco. So the Rev. and I chatted it up for a few minutes and then he went on his way.

Later in the day when we went out to do a few things, I was stopped at a stop light and all of the sudden who is in my face? That would be my child. He just undid his seat belt, hopped out of his seat and decided to see the view from up front. Thank goodness I was stopped because I seriously almost peed my pants because he startled me so. A series of tantrums occurred over various green goldfish in his bowl, Maggie read his book, etc.

Ok, judge away now. I will tell you that we are all still alive and were happy when it was bedtime last night. Today is a new day...

Have a great day!

PS-thanks for the emails and comments about Darby. Darby is still here and I have many stories to share...this imaginary friend bit is quite interesting. Darby is starting to wear out her welcome though. Darby and I might have a throw patience is wearing thin on some things.


  1. Oh my! That's all I'm going to say except that I hope your day is better today! (I'm sure Mini #2 was awfully cute covered in dirt after the fact? - Maybe? Maybe not!) ;-)

  2. I am thinking that it was a little more than coincidence that brought the pastor to your door at that very moment! :)

  3. too funny! kids can definitely be a handful huh? I really want kids now...but after this...holding off for a year or two..might be ok as well! :)

  4. Wow! What a fun Tuesday you had! I hope your day was better today. Just remember those cute faces :)

  5. I haven't commented in a while, but I adore your posts!! So funny and so nostalgic. Is is a funny thing about life how every now and then it's as if some force inhabits our children's bodies and we are left saying "Who are these children? They belong to whom?? xoxo

  6. I think I missed the part about Darby but I am going back to figure it out. I love stories about imaginary friends! I am home now and my dad just told me that he had an imaginary friend that lived in a hole in the backyard. SO funny. I waved at you flying over Greenville this afternoon! Outlets tomorrow! Hope your children chill out tomorrow! I'm sure they are too cute to sell! :)

  7. hello funny story! My sisters kids did the same thing a few weeks ago and they had to replace half of their kitchen and laundry room ceiling. No fun! I just tagged you for a blog award by the way!

  8. lol What a day! You poor thing! Toot will never ever do anything like that to me...right?



  9. I just died laughing...yet again with your posts!
    Mr. Paper Chick (as I am refering to my hubby thanks to you) also has talked about trading our mini for a car as well!!
    And I too would like to rent out my son for a couple of months from time to time.
    thanks for the laughs!!!

  10. Oh my goodness! I can empathize, since I can remember some interesting memories with our 3 :o) Now that they are all in college, we love to recall those memories and really get some good laughs in about them!

    hmmm, my hubby and I have even finally heard of some other moments that we were unaware of at the time...

    How awesome that you are able to post these moments and can read them later :o)


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