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Monday, July 20, 2009

Dear Renter

Dear Renter of the Year Award Recipient,

Thank you for moving out of our home a week ago and not even having the decency to call us. Thank you for abandoning your lease in which you still have nine months left to pay on...remember that legally binding agreement that we signed in which I offered you an adorable home to live in with your two and soon to be three children for the next year???

It was so great to hear from our neighbor and good friend on Saturday. We hadn't gotten to actually speak with him or his wife since they welcomed a new arrival to the world a few weeks ago. We so love them and were hoping that life was finally settling down for them and they were able to chat and tell us all the details and how the big brother was doing, but no, he was calling to regale us in your move out efforts and get the real scoop on why we "booted our tenants." Let's just say that both of us were more than a little SURPRISED to find out that we DID KNOW you left. That's right, you just left and couldn't even call us to tell us that you are not a nice or responsible person.

When I did get to talk to you on Saturday, you did not even apologize once, but acted like this was a normal don't have money so you just move out and forget about the lease agreement. You also told me the house was SPOTLESS because you got on your hands and knees to scrub the floors and everything was in pristine shape. You also told me that the utilities were still left on and that you certainly hoped that we could find another renter.

Well, dear renter, when Mr. Molly Lou arrived at the home this morning, the house wasn't exactly in that pristine shape that you mentioned and the light fixture hanging from the ceiling was only the tip of the iceberg. Oh, did you think that I wouldn't find out that the electricity was in fact not on? I even called the electric and gas company and as I am the owner of the home, I was informed that you asked for the services to be cut off last Thursday. are a tricky one and perhaps you thought that my hair was as blonde as yours. (While we are at it, no one thinks that is your natural hair color and perhaps the 2 inches of dark roots at the top give it away.)

Perhaps in your haste to move out, you forgot some very important "friends" that belong to you. The 32535322 fleas that you left were jumping up and down excited to see Mr. Molly Lou since they had been abandoned. I can't be sure, but I don't think they enjoyed the bomb that Mr. Molly Lou set off to let the little buggers drift away to Flea Heaven.

Dear Renter I think that you need some help. I am no professional, but may I offer you some life advice? Perhaps the two children that you currently have and the one that you are carrying with the boyfriend that you just broke up with would like to have a stable home and know that their mother is a responsible and good person. The job that you just got laid off from was as a teacher at a private, religious school...perhaps getting pregnant with your "baby daddy" wasn't on the top of their list of fave things you have done and the constant calling in sick from said pregnancy probably is what lost you the Teacher of the Year Award.

Trust me, there are continuous EXTREMELY not nice thoughts that continue to run through my head about you. If I wasn't a good Southern girl, I would call you some of those not so nice words that are in my thoughts right now.

Kind Regards,

Your Landlord

PS-Your rent check for this month bounced...THANKS AGAIN! Please tell any future landlord or mortgage broker to give me a call...I would love to chat about what a glorious person you are! I certainly hope your children don't follow in your footsteps, but instead learn from your example and do the opposite.


  1. Sorry to hear you are going through this. After having rental properties my entire childhood as well as my own as an adult we have been through this more times than I can count.

    Consider a month to month lease next time. That is all we do now as well as many others. It protects YOU. We are also now screening renters differently these days. It is now much harder to get into one of our properties, after passing the credit report review, reference checks etc... more work but worth it in the end ;)

    Look at this as a blessing. They are out, fleas and all!

  2. omg, I am so sorry to hear that! It's absolutely despicable that people do not respect your property or honor their committments. I hope that you're able to sort this out with the previous renter and not have to resort to any legal fanangling!

  3. I am so sorry to read this post. We have also experienced a quick move out. After I got over that feeling of being outraged all I could think about was the children and how all of this was going to effect them.....

  4. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately I know exactly what you are feeling as we have had these issues multiple times in the past with renters in our rental properties. Doesn't it make you want to strangle them?????? I think Darby would be willing to do the job! Or maybe she could move in as your renter!

  5. YIKES! I hope you find someone good to get in there!!!


  6. Oh my gosh! I can't believe this happened! :(

  7. Oh, this is horrible! Sorry to hear this! I'm calling this renter names in my head, too! People like this make it impossible for any of us to rent without signing our life and first-born children away!

  8. I am so so sorry that you're dealing with this! How awful that a person would feel this is ok. How mentally deficient are they??

  9. Oh gosh - what a mess! And I am sure suing them to fulfill the contract is futile. And let me guess.... she probably doesn't have any health insurance so guess who is paying for the new baby? Is her last name Freeloader by chance?

  10. How rude of them! I cannot even believe that!! People can be so clueless! And you guys left to clean up after them, gross!

  11. How incredibly frustrating! I hope you get some good renters next time!

  12. Oh no! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! First crazy lady you bought the new MLG household from and how this root showing lady -- what is wrong with people!?

  13. Oh no! I am so sorry!
    I hope you find a PERFECT renter soon!

  14. What a yucky situation. Be glad you weren't planning on moving in! I feel badly for this woman's children and hope they find some stable influences in their lives.

  15. oh no.
    What a mess this sounds like. Hopefully the kids (who suffer the most) will not grow up to be like their mother...

  16. I am so sorry. Are you going to take legal recourse?


  17. So sorry this has happended! She sounds like a real looser! I feel bad that you have to go through all of this and I feel sorry for her poor kids!


  18. what a nasty mess! I hope the damage isn't too severe. I mean seriously, a damaged light fixture? That's just ridiculous!

    On other note, I was surfing your site and ran across your kids playcases - I so need one for BG's toys when we go on long trips! Perfect. Be looking for my order soon!

  19. Ughhhhhhhhh. That is horrible. What happened to responsibility? Fabulous life lesson for her little ones. Geesh.

  20. Hey, Can anyone tell me a place to buy good personalized gift bags?

  21. OH MY GOD. I am so sorry. This sounds like a complete and total NIGHTMARE. I don't understand why people feel they can just bow out of a LEGAL CONTRACT??

    I am hoping you can take some legal action????? Keep us posted, please!

  22. Fleas.

    Jumping up and down.


    Jumping up and down?!?!?!!!?


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