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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Marriage 101

Mr. and I are taking a marriage class at the church I grew up in. My mom watches the minis and we even get to grab a bite of dinner before heading back. (Two weeks eating a meal sans children...this goes along with Friday's end of the world post.)

This is "taught" by the minister and his wife. They are fun and a "real" couple. They don't claim to have the perfect marriage and and are open in sharing some of the hurdles they have overcome and are honest in the work God has done for their marriage.

The class is a good mix of couples, both young and old, newlyweds and ones that have been married for almost an eternity.

Of course, Mr. is the "class clown" and feels the need to make several jokes. Sometimes his jokes occur at inappropriate times and twice I have grabbed his leg under the table and whisper oh so sweetly "do not make a joke now," but that is a story for another day.

I think what I have enjoyed the most about this is the knowledge that there are several things Mr. and I are doing RIGHT in our marriage. (gasp!)

I feel like I often dwell and obsess (me obsess? never!) over things wrong in our marriage and the areas where we need to improve. These are little things, nothing world altering, but still areas of less than perfectness.

While some of those are still there, we have a great marriage and this class has spotlighted areas where we shine and apparently (at least today) seem to "have it down." Unfortunately in many scenarios, it is easier to see the negative than the positive.

I also read a Wall Street Journal article last week about marriages and how it is often the little things that cause the biggest cracks in marriages. The article discusses how couples often come closer together during the bigger and most trying times in life such as loss of a loved one, illness, job crisis, but let the little things build up and lead to the biggest issues.

The thing I will remember most is "You can choose to be right or be happy. Choose to the happy."

This is my new mantra.

Every marriage is different and every couple has their hurdles to overcome. With Mr.'s career having us apart 4-5 days a week and then toss in two small children, some days our hurdles feel too high to even attempt to climb.

I love my husband, our marriage, and the life we have created so much and it nice to be reminded of that sometimes.

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner everyday." ~Barbara De Angelis

Happy Tuesday! Remember to choose happiness.

10 comments:

  1. Fabulous post, MLG. I love the last quote, but think the quote about choosing to be happy (vs. being right) will stick with me forever.

    You're such a joy & inspiration to me. Love you!!

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  2. great post and love the new mantra! i need to adopt that in my life, too!

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  3. Amen amen amen! I couldn't agree more! This is the epitome of a successful marriage!

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  4. Love this post, it's true for us too! Your hubby sounds a lot like mine! I have the class clown also, I just keep saying it's a good thing, and it usually is, but sometimes... :)
    Kate

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  5. This post is so true. I think the only reason I don't obsess is because I've lived through an abusive marriage and I've learned what is and what isn't important.

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  6. Ooooh lala. I love that quote. I'm gonna give that to my Precious Daughter who is getting married in June! Thanks Miss Molly Lou! xoxo

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  7. This is beautiful and many kudos to you and hubby for having such a fantastic relationship and realistic perspective on your partnership in your marriage! That quote is powerful, and it's so true! Thank you for this, really brightened my afternoon! :) xox Lots of love!

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  8. Love that quote. I think the hardest thing is to realize that being "right" is not the "end all, be all". In the big scope of it all, it really doesn't matter as far as those day-to-day quibbles. We must realize we are just SO BLESSED to have each other. Thanks for sharing this!

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  9. This is such a great post! Love the quote! It's so something for me to aspire to when I get married!

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  10. Just happened by ... I think you and your readers would like my little book, "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage" -- come by and visit --
    www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com

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How I love comments...thanks for stopping by and sharing what you are thinking. Cheers!

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