Marriage 101

Mr. and I are taking a marriage class at the church I grew up in. My mom watches the minis and we even get to grab a bite of dinner before heading back. (Two weeks eating a meal sans children...this goes along with Friday's end of the world post.)

This is "taught" by the minister and his wife. They are fun and a "real" couple. They don't claim to have the perfect marriage and and are open in sharing some of the hurdles they have overcome and are honest in the work God has done for their marriage.

The class is a good mix of couples, both young and old, newlyweds and ones that have been married for almost an eternity.

Of course, Mr. is the "class clown" and feels the need to make several jokes. Sometimes his jokes occur at inappropriate times and twice I have grabbed his leg under the table and whisper oh so sweetly "do not make a joke now," but that is a story for another day.

I think what I have enjoyed the most about this is the knowledge that there are several things Mr. and I are doing RIGHT in our marriage. (gasp!)

I feel like I often dwell and obsess (me obsess? never!) over things wrong in our marriage and the areas where we need to improve. These are little things, nothing world altering, but still areas of less than perfectness.

While some of those are still there, we have a great marriage and this class has spotlighted areas where we shine and apparently (at least today) seem to "have it down." Unfortunately in many scenarios, it is easier to see the negative than the positive.

I also read a Wall Street Journal article last week about marriages and how it is often the little things that cause the biggest cracks in marriages. The article discusses how couples often come closer together during the bigger and most trying times in life such as loss of a loved one, illness, job crisis, but let the little things build up and lead to the biggest issues.

The thing I will remember most is "You can choose to be right or be happy. Choose to the happy."

This is my new mantra.

Every marriage is different and every couple has their hurdles to overcome. With Mr.'s career having us apart 4-5 days a week and then toss in two small children, some days our hurdles feel too high to even attempt to climb.

I love my husband, our marriage, and the life we have created so much and it nice to be reminded of that sometimes.

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner everyday." ~Barbara De Angelis

Happy Tuesday! Remember to choose happiness.