For Hire*

{Editor's Note: Worthwhile Wednesday will be temporarily delayed this week. Remember a few weeks ago when we just pretended it was Wednesday another day. You know like deja vu or Groundhog Day? I know that perhaps Wednesdays aren't the ideal day to do again, so I will make it worth your while. My apologies.}

I am looking for someone to help me in this crazy life that I find myself living. Below are some of the details, but not limited to only these tasks.


*Clean my house-including sweeping/mopping, bathrooms, dusting, dishes, etc.
*Clean up toys so that people don't break their neck as they try to walk around-this will probably happen at least 3 times a day.
*Wash, dry, fold, and put away all laundry
*Cook and clean up all meals (and try to solve the issue of Mini #1 eating nothing and then throwing a temper tantrum when you fix what he actually said he wanted)
*Mow the grass (front & back), weed beds, finish cleaning out beds in backyard
*Deal with pool maintenance
*Fix toys when they break for the 45678 time
*Play and educate two extremely cute, loud, smart, stubborn, funny, and energy filled minis
*Work for the realtor man (emailing, phone calls, appointment set ups, flyers, presentations)
*Work for MLG and help it grow (THIS ONE IS FUN)
*Deal with my husband
*Go to the dreaded grocery store
*Put me on a diet and exercise plan without me actually knowing it. Bonus pay if you could actually somehow lose the weight for me.
*Pay bills and organize files that somehow got completely out of control over the past three moves this year.
*Read for leisure and have the ability to give me a synopsis of the books that I have sitting on my nightstand and so desperately want to read.
*Stalk the Kate Spade website for great deals (also, search for additional funds to purchase said deals or else this task is kind of pointless)

I have been searching, wiggling my nose, blinking and crossing my arms, clicking my heels together on my sparkly red heels, and I even tried letting my hair down while waiting for a prince to save me.

Would you believe that NOTHING is working and I'm tired ya'll.

*Salary is negotiable as long as you can be paid by MLG products, food, homemade crafts, and on certain days my children and/or husband.

Submit all resumes via email to me and I promise you will be my new BFF!!! Better enter soon as I'm sure that there will be quite the applicant pool for this prestigious job.