Let's talk today about kind words and the tones that we use with others.
You know this weekend we went down to visit Mr. Molly Lou in his new worktown. (In case you were wondering, one hotel room, two children, one of those minis sick, rain, COLD=AWESOME.)We went down Thursday afternoon and Friday was a cold and rainy day. Mr. was working so I decided to venture over to the "mall." Not a lot of offerings, but they did have a very nice Books-A-Million. We love us some book stores. Books, toys, trains, drinks, oh my.
We approach the children's area and hear voices of children and a mother. When I turn the corner, Mini #1 is already playing trains with a little boy, let's call him Sam Alexander. (I will forever remember this child's real name after the amount of times I heard it.)
Setting the scene, Mini #1 and Sam Alexander are playing nicely at the train table, Mini #2 is crawling around attempting to eat various books and pull things off shelves. Little Sam has a sister that is running around, the other mother is in an attractive sweatpant outfit playing with some cards while sitting in an armchair, Sam's dad is lost in a computer sitting opposite her, and I am sitting on the floor trying to read Mini #2 a book and browsing the shelves myself.
"SAM ALEXANDER IF YOU DON'T STOP DOING THAT I AM GOING TO WHIP YOUR BUTT."
"DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID STOP DOING THAT, PUT IT DOWN. I MEAN IT, I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND GET YOU."
What??? I look up, sure that little Sam Alexander has found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and is about to down it. That is why she is screaming...she is worry about the safety of her child. I check Mini, he is just playing and I see no harm being down on the Island of Sodor.
"SAM ALEXANDER, YOU BETTER STOP. IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN TO SHARE, I AM GOING TO WHIP YOUR BUTT. BE NICE WITH THOSE TRAINS."
What??? Am I going to blind? I didn't see any of that and am just about positive that both boys have their respective trains and are playing parallel on opposite ends of the table.
Sam Alexander just grunts something and goes back to playing. Dad is still lost and not offering anything...
"PUT THAT DOWN. DO YOU NEVER WANT TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU ARE SO MEAN? I WILL COME OVER THERE."
Again, what???? Mini #1 is looking at me and I have nothing to offer. Sam Alexander is being very well behaved and pretty much tunes her out. She is also making empty threats and doesn't ever pretend to move from her chair.
This goes on for a few more minutes, she is also yelling at the sister, but I couldn't see her. They eventually leave with both children kicking and screaming. It was very enjoyable after they left.
I told Mr. Molly Lou all about this scene that night. Fast forward to Sunday, we are at the playground. Mr. Molly Lou are on opposite sides of the play ground and are each playing with a mini. All of the sudden, "STOP THAT. DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T MAKE ME WHIP YOUR BUTT. STOP IT." (Yes, the dad was there and was mute throughout the playground experience too.)
Ahh...she has followed us. Sure enough, I spot Sam Alexander playing on another play set. I make eyes with Mr. Molly Lou as he KNOWS that is the woman from my accurate portrayal a few days earlier.
Here is what gets me, children will be children. Screaming at them doesn't work. Do you like it when people scream at you? Children and adults for that matter react based on the tones and interactions with others. I feel so bad for this child...if this is how the mother talks to him in public, I am pretty sure it isn't any different at home.
I hate when I see parents yelling and screaming at their children. Children are people too and deserve respect. You wouldn't want anyone talking to you that way, so why degrade your children ESPECIALLY when they have done nothing to deserve it.
Trust me, I could go on about this, but I will leave you with Molly Lou Tuesday Tidbit:
Remember the Golden Rule...it's golden for a reason.