However, I swear anytime that something scandalous or dramatic happens in this state, they find the toothless, dirty, and non-grammar perfect resident to speak. This always gives a bad taste in the mouth of someone from another state. This state is full of educated, well-groomed, perfectly pleasant, and attractive residents with manners that would make Emily Post proud, however, recently I have met and seen some interesting folks around here:
Exhibit A: Have I told you about the woman that we are buying our new home from. Close your eyes to get this full mental image: 60 years old, long brown and blonde streaked hair reaching her bum, wrinkly fake tanned skin (she has a tanning bed in one of the bedrooms upstairs and used to own a tanning salon), smokes, and has breasts the size of Rhode Island. I am serious...double Pam Anderson's. This is not an exxaggeration at all, you can't help but stare at these disturbing freaks of nature. The first time we went to look at the house, she was in the driveway and we got to see all of those features as well as the belly button ring and G-string hanging over her pajama bottoms...SERIOUSLY!!!! I was scared to death to go inside, but somehow, somewhere the inside was beautiful in comparison to her train wreck of an appearance and life. Within five minutes of meeting her, I knew her entire soap opera life with WAY TOOOOOOO MANY DETAILS.
I could write a best selling book on this woman, her life, and some of the phrases that come out of her mouth. In the south, we have this saying "Bless her heart." That is truly the only thing I can say for this poor woman.
Exhibit B: Taking the minis to Target the other day for some home necessities, there is a woman dragging her child out of the store and proceeding through the parking lot. He doesn't have a shirt or SHOES on. This child is walking around the PARKING LOT and was in the store without a shirt or shoes on. Ewwww!
Exhibit C: At the grocery store the other day, Mini #1 was pushing the cart and we were shopping and looking at things. We overhear another mother in a not so nice tone say to her child: "If you don't stop that, I am going to give you a whoopin' right here in this store. I don't care who watches and you ain't gonna get no Mountain Dew for days. You ain't gonna get nothin'. You best stop doing that before I raise my hand." Perhaps she should write a parenting book. I'm sure Dr. Phil would be calling.
Exhibit D: Molly Lou Brother-in-law was at the Fresh Market. He told the deli man that he wanted 2/3 lb. of this turkey that was on sale. The man looked at him, looked at the scale, and just stood there dumbfounded for a moment. After a few moments, he turned to the other deli man and said "how much is 2/3 of a pound?" The man replied with "About a 1/2." I am not kidding.
New contest and new line being unveiled at Molly Lou Gifts tomorrow! VERY EXCITING...Be sure to stop back by. New giveaway to announce too! Have a great day! Cheers!