The Core

Often when you think of the word core, you think of the inedible center of a fruit such as an apple.

Lately, I have been thinking of my core. When you look up the 567 definitions of the word core, one of them is

core (noun): a basic, essential, or enduring part; the essential meaning; the inmost or most intimate part

Then, I saw in a magazine that I read it defined as

your inner self, including your temperament, life experiences, emotions, passions, and potential.

How fitting! I feel that I have lost part of my core recently. I know I have kind of "fell off the face of the Blogger earth" lately and how much I have missed it.

I have let life get in the way, I have let part of myself go. I took a job a few months ago, why I never really blogged about it, I'm not sure. When I took the job, there were some obstacles and I guess I was nervous on what I would be able to do. I am the director of a preschool now. The school is thriving and my children are happy there and learning so much. I do like it, but some days I am so completely overwhelmed with work, children, housework and chores, church responsibilities, Molly Lou Gifts shop duties, and the list goes on.

There are some days that I cry at the end of the day when Mini #2 won't go to sleep because I am so tired and I also have about 2356 things that I need to do before I can lay my head down.

When I decided to take this job, we were under the impression that Mr. was going to be able to come home and work out of the home office. That would be so great...we could be a family of 4 again every night, we could eat together, read books together before bedtime, play together, and share the nightly routines. There would be another set of hands each night to help bathe, read, play, cook dinner and clean up (his clean up hands have never been stellar, but there would be another set of hands to do something while I cleaned up at least.) That didn't happen and Mr. is on another project that he does enjoy now at the same site, but still away all week for another year.

I feel like as a mother, I immediately shared a part of my core with these two. I want to share my life experiences, passions, and emotions with them to help mold them in to the person that God intends for them to be. Somewhere in the process though, I think I forgot about my core and certainly forgot to grow that and foster my inner self. By doing so, I know I will be a better mom, wife, and friend.

Blogging is a passion because it allows me to be a part of this wonderful community of people that have entered my life for many reasons. I need this...this is an outlet for me and one of such great support and comfort.

You all help me cultivate my seed, my core for the rest of my life.